The Tipping Point
For decades, we’ve heard – implicitly and explicitly – NOT to show emotions in the workplace. The mythical stories that suggest showing emotion at work would make one look weak or immature, combined with the societal pressure to appear ‘strong,’ make up the anti-emotional lore of corporate life. But, well, that’s all bullshit. Our brains are physically and biologically wired to use emotions to sense the world around us. We make decisions using our emotions (and then try to back those decisions up with data or fact or rationale); we instinctively trust or distrust people based on our emotions (and then find reasons to prove or disprove ourselves); our memories of stories and relationships are stronger and easier to recall than the facts, logic, and data we’ve absorbed in our lifetimes (because the stories are connected to emotions). Emotions ARE at work…constantly.
And what we know to be true about leadership is that those who express [relevant] vulnerability, display [healthy] humility, and show [appropriate] empathy are way more likely to build trust and grow their followership than those that don’t. And, spoiler alert: those three things are deeply rooted in EMOTIONS. Showing passion or joy for the project: emotion. Showing concern for the progress we’re making: emotion. Celebrating a big sale: emotion. Effectively marketing our services: emotion. It’s everywhere…like Visa (Visa; it’s everywhere you want to be). And yet, there’s this nagging story that suggests we can’t show emotion at work. It’s a conundrum, kinda. Or, maybe it’s just a historical suggestion that has been proven false? I dunno what to call it...so I’ll call it dumb.
The best leaders I’ve had in my career showed emotion – but not so much that it got weird. The best colleagues I’ve worked with showed emotion – so much that I knew they were passionate and joyful about the work. The best version of myself shows emotion – in a way that brings people in, not pushes them away. Emotion fuels us, and in this crazy time, it’s OK to let it show. I dare say - it’s necessary. You’re a human, not a robot. And right now, I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a little more emotion at work: more passion, more care, more energy, more love, more vulnerability, more courage, more integrity, more joy... The founder of Southwest once said, “a company is stronger if it’s bound by love, not fear.” I kinda like that.
I think the pandemic has helped us learn this lesson, but as people are “going back to work” and the “return to office” plans are being enacted, I fear we are regressing back to our robotic, stoic past, putting on the ‘right’ face for the office, leaving emotions at home, and re-drawing that line between work and home. We’ve spent two years unlearning these habits. Two years of leaders finally showing empathy and compassion. Two years of colleagues getting personal. Two years of getting to know our coworkers in a different way. Two years commiserating and supporting each other. Two years building a new – and vital – leadership muscle. It would be such a shame to let it all atrophy and revert back to a workplace that only worked for some. We’re at a tipping point. Which way will we go?
